Day 10
One of the toughest parts of this disease is telling our loved ones of the diagnosis. It is a very crucial responsibility but has to be dealt with eloquently. Having to tell mom that her daughter has cancer is scary. Inside, I can predict the tears that will run and the mood becoming very gloomy. However, what must be done has to be done. I feel that honesty is the best. Being able to explain what is going on, the treatment carefully, and the prognosis given helps keep the conversation stable.
Jackie’s mom took the information surprisingly well. She had similar denial feelings at first as I did. How can a young healthy lady have this disease? She came around real fast though. She quickly was starting to think of what is the best ways to deal with insurance, treatment, and follow-up care. What a relief! I am so glad we were able to return home and do this.

Day 11
It is so wonderful to have the love and care of friends and family. By telling family and friends, I feel like the burdens of Jackie and I have been slightly alleviated. It is not just us two finding ways to make ends meet. Now we have lots of people calling, planning, and helping us get the necessary steps down to plan for and effective and proper treatment plan. Jackie and I were able to talk to someone who went through a similar even in their life in the past. All his stories were very comforting to hear. The gray clouds have lifted slightly and I do see light. Tomorrow is the second opinion. I can’t wait to see what this doctor says. All I want is to have this disease out of Jackie’s body so I can love and live my life with my wife.

Day 12
Mixed emotions… I live a bipolar life currently. One minute I can be excited and happy about Jackie being able to get coverage finally, the next minute I can receive a phone call and flip my world upside down. It has become an art to multitask in my head. I try and juggle info that I heard one minute before and then go back to concentrating on work. I try not to let this interfere with my work life though. I have to maintain a certain amount of professionalism. It comes to the whole concept of leaving work at work and home at home. For me, home overlaps into work, but I will never let work overlap into home.
Today was second opinion day. Having no insurance makes everything complicated. Each thirty minute visit can easily rack up into a days pay or even more. This doctor today was full of hope though. He seemed for optimistic and straightforward on what needs to be done. His training seemed up to date and realistic. It was good to know that this lymphoma would be an easy task to deal with.
I’ve been appreciating the random texts and phone calls throughout the day. This can never be dealt with alone. It’s always nice to have friends and family for support no matter how far they are away. Jackie and I no longer have to feel alone and struggling by ourselves. Overall, today was a good day!