Day 95
This week has definitely flown by. It all becomes a blur until the next chemo day. The pace of life has definitely slowed down compared to roller coaster of events from before. I wake up sometimes and wander through my day forgetting about what is going on in my wife’s life. I find myself less diligent on vacuuming, sanitation wipes, and constantly reminders of taking her meds. I go to work no longer with a worried face or a face that looks of constant pondering. People may think that is a good sign, maybe a sign of acceptance and logic. I don’t want this though! I don’t want to be feeling back to normal or complacent with where my life is. When all this started, Jackie was my world and nothing else came close to her. She is still my world, but my mind is clouded by the thoughts of unimportant objects and events. When all this began I started treating and living life like it was my last day. I made a conscious effort to love life and not take advantage of what I have. I’m afraid that once all this blows over Jackie and I will forget how fortunate and lucky we are to have good health, friends and family, good financial life, as well as a great marriage. Too many people go through life living week by week instead of day by day. What happens if Jackie and I forget how Hodgkin’s have changed our lives, but reinforced and strengthened our marriage of only a few months? I don’t want to live as a shadow of this world. Hopefully Jackie and I will not just treat this as another even in our life, but an experience worth sharing about. Hopefully we can use this experience to encourage and motivate others who are experiencing or caring for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma patients.