Day 108
How do I contain a ball of energy that is harnessed inside my wife? Why does God let someone so young, active, and healthy have to endure such a long and humbling event? Hodgkin’s treatment seems to be never-ending. The weeks between treatments take the longest. For someone who is constantly on the go and active, this is the one treatment which turns her life 180 degrees. Is this a lesson from above? Is God trying to tell Jackie she needs to slow her life down and focus on other matters that she has been avoiding? Is God asking me to show a kind of love that I have not fathomed. God may also be teaching me to endure and sustain through situations which are bleak and gray. I do think a lot about why all this has happened. How does this affect me and my marriage? Is 8 months of marriage along with four years of dating enough adhesive to keep Jackie and I going? So far, I am only finding more and more strength as I watch my wife get stronger and stronger.
Jackie is definitely doing very well though. She is meeting with her doctor for their biweekly meetings before chemo. Chemo #6 is this Friday and then hopefully, with fingers crossed, just one more cycle. What I wonder the most is how she is responding to treatment. We won’t knot until end of March. Fingers crossed everyone!!