Day 107
My thoughts change everyday. I think I have been reading too many forums about Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. The majority of posts on the forum are negative. According to those members the cured Hodgkin’s patients usually do not return to the forum to post. The forum is mostly for currently patients who need a place to vent and need advice. I tend to read every single symptoms, relapse event, and plan of treatment attentively. Every time I read about someone recommending Neulasta over Nuepogen or having 6 cycles instead of 4 cycles, it gets my head thinking. I start thinking if Jackie is heading the correct route. I start thinking if Jackie should have gone somewhere else for treatment. I start thinking when God is going to let me have my new wife back in good health.
Jackie is definitely more optimistic than me. No matter how involved or how much I want to be involved with her treatments, I will never understand it the way she does. I believe your body is able to tell you what it needs and feels. Jackie always tells me she knows her mass has shrunk. Yesterday she told me that the lymphoma is gone already. I believe in her entirely and I know that her body is healed. There are many things about our health and mind that is incomprehensible. Jackie is definitely going to prove this to me.