Day 81
The mood in the air today seemed stale. Whenever I feel life is getting back on track we always hit a bump or two. At least today’s bump was small and harmless. Jackie was scheduled for chemo this afternoon, hence the word “was.” She had a quick meeting with her doctor at 1:30, but didn’t get to finish till 2:30. By that time the infusion room was filled and the nurse said she wouldn’t have time to get therapy. Why are there so many individuals who need infusions. Every day we are there the room is full. I guess I am starting to believe this 1 in 5 statistic of cancer occurrence. The good news is Jackie’s blood counts are still normal; even though it was dropped from a high of 10.3 she will also be having chemo tomorrow, so really no big deal.
I went to my doctor today and she gave me a clean bill of health. She reconfirmed my chest pains to be stress related. Actually she mentioned I had a lot of stomach acid buildup secondary to stress. She mentioned activated to distress, breathing techniques, and even some antacids if this were to happen more frequently. It is the same story just from another person. At least no more worries from my wife’s side.
Chemo week is always slightly more nerve wrecking than her off week. You can always feel a little more tension in the air, because of the random side effects that can come up and bite Jackie. I know my wife looks forward to chemo because it means one step closer to a cure. Lets just keep those bumps to a minimal please!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Day 80
Chemo #4 is just a day away. Today Jackie is still awaiting a phone call from Cedars Sinai to get her second opinion. Her oncologist took another blood sample from her to check counts before therapy tomorrow. We are still trying to think of ideas to keep Jackie occupied at home. Suggestions have gone from tutoring, drawing, writing, consulting, and selling Mary Kay products. We actually had someone come over to introduce the Mary Kay line and teach her how to get set up with selling products. She seems to be keeping busy everyday with simple projects. The good thing about Jackie is she has multiple talents and can make a piece of art from one piece of paper and 12 colored pencils.
My own day consists of going to work and keeping myself distressed. I am going to get my annual physical tomorrow and get some lab work drawn. I know how important it is to keep myself healthy in order to take care of my wife. Actually, it was more of her idea to go see the doctor and discuss my stress related chest pains. That would be a pretty simple task to put both our minds at ease.
Chemo #4 is just a day away. Today Jackie is still awaiting a phone call from Cedars Sinai to get her second opinion. Her oncologist took another blood sample from her to check counts before therapy tomorrow. We are still trying to think of ideas to keep Jackie occupied at home. Suggestions have gone from tutoring, drawing, writing, consulting, and selling Mary Kay products. We actually had someone come over to introduce the Mary Kay line and teach her how to get set up with selling products. She seems to be keeping busy everyday with simple projects. The good thing about Jackie is she has multiple talents and can make a piece of art from one piece of paper and 12 colored pencils.
My own day consists of going to work and keeping myself distressed. I am going to get my annual physical tomorrow and get some lab work drawn. I know how important it is to keep myself healthy in order to take care of my wife. Actually, it was more of her idea to go see the doctor and discuss my stress related chest pains. That would be a pretty simple task to put both our minds at ease.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Day 79
Today was a day similar to 80 days ago. Today was a time where I didn’t have any reminder how Hodgkin’s Lymphoma had changed Jackie and my life. There were no doctor’s visits, no side effects, no low blood counts, and no sadness. Today was a good day.
Jackie has been responding so well this past week. She went to work for the first time in awhile. I was able to work along side her today at the office. It seemed like everyone missed her, and they all wanted to claim her for themselves. We had a very productive work morning and then grabbed a nice lunch at the hospital where I work. It was so nice to be reminded of how much of a young professional she is. After lunch we finished the rest of the work day. We came back home had a wonderful dinner and sat down for a movie. It was so much like old times. I do miss it and look forward to many more days such as today.
Today was a day similar to 80 days ago. Today was a time where I didn’t have any reminder how Hodgkin’s Lymphoma had changed Jackie and my life. There were no doctor’s visits, no side effects, no low blood counts, and no sadness. Today was a good day.
Jackie has been responding so well this past week. She went to work for the first time in awhile. I was able to work along side her today at the office. It seemed like everyone missed her, and they all wanted to claim her for themselves. We had a very productive work morning and then grabbed a nice lunch at the hospital where I work. It was so nice to be reminded of how much of a young professional she is. After lunch we finished the rest of the work day. We came back home had a wonderful dinner and sat down for a movie. It was so much like old times. I do miss it and look forward to many more days such as today.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Day 78
Inspiration is a suitable word I can use to describe my wife. Seventy-eight days have passed and we still have many more to go before the finish line. Each day though, Jackie wakes up pumping her fists into the air as if she was triumphant in some sort of boxing match. She has adapted very well to her temporary lifestyle. I was very worried at the beginning how she would be able to handle being at home during the day instead of working daily. Her personality is meant to be constantly busy and as productive as possible. Yet, she has found other ways to become productive, even testing new talents that may have never been revealed without this opportunity. She has started drawing some really beautiful sketches, which seem like they are stolen from an art website. I can vouch for her that these drawings are hand made. She also picked up knitting and stuck through it until her project was done. She isn’t at home sleeping or watching TV slowly wasting her time, but she is creating and exploring life. Amazing!
It is so warming that so many friends read Jackie and my entries. We constantly have friends express concern and support towards Jackie’s fight. It’s hard to predict what life throws at you, but at least we know there are people watching our backs.
Inspiration is a suitable word I can use to describe my wife. Seventy-eight days have passed and we still have many more to go before the finish line. Each day though, Jackie wakes up pumping her fists into the air as if she was triumphant in some sort of boxing match. She has adapted very well to her temporary lifestyle. I was very worried at the beginning how she would be able to handle being at home during the day instead of working daily. Her personality is meant to be constantly busy and as productive as possible. Yet, she has found other ways to become productive, even testing new talents that may have never been revealed without this opportunity. She has started drawing some really beautiful sketches, which seem like they are stolen from an art website. I can vouch for her that these drawings are hand made. She also picked up knitting and stuck through it until her project was done. She isn’t at home sleeping or watching TV slowly wasting her time, but she is creating and exploring life. Amazing!
It is so warming that so many friends read Jackie and my entries. We constantly have friends express concern and support towards Jackie’s fight. It’s hard to predict what life throws at you, but at least we know there are people watching our backs.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Day 75-77
It is so hard to decide when Jackie and I can go out or when it is too risky. Jackie was told that she needed to avoid most public places due to the risk of infections. She has been locked up in this house for the last week, and I can tell boredom is really getting to her. I am trying to find places to go and things to do, but each idea is usually shot down due to germs. I seemed to have gained a sixth sense towards germs. I have been sensitive to a stranger’s cough or even clearing of throat. We have been careful about even going to places like restaurants and church because of the amount of public exposure. I know she can’t stay at homes for the next four months though.
Jackie has been having very good blood counts recently after her neupogen. My mind is more at ease when she is not neutropenic. Yesterday, I finally buckled and we decided to go out for a nice outing and dinner. We spent the day going up a tram into the mountains to see the freshly fallen snow. There was an hour wait with a bunch others and we were crammed into a small tram. On one side of the tram there was an open window with wind blowing in and on the other were people breathing on you. I would wrap myself around Jackie as if I had the ability to protect her from all the bacteria circulating in the air. At dinner, we sat next to people smoking and it just irritated me that there is no human decency around anymore. I’m so glad we were able to move seats or we would have probably left.
I am glad Jackie had a good time and I know she definitely needed the air. I know she understands why I often hesitate to take her out and do many of the things we use to do outside. I come to this obsessive ritual of trying to vanquish germs around her. I take vitamin C to make sure I don’t get sick and infect her. This germ phobia has become a part of me.
It is so hard to decide when Jackie and I can go out or when it is too risky. Jackie was told that she needed to avoid most public places due to the risk of infections. She has been locked up in this house for the last week, and I can tell boredom is really getting to her. I am trying to find places to go and things to do, but each idea is usually shot down due to germs. I seemed to have gained a sixth sense towards germs. I have been sensitive to a stranger’s cough or even clearing of throat. We have been careful about even going to places like restaurants and church because of the amount of public exposure. I know she can’t stay at homes for the next four months though.
Jackie has been having very good blood counts recently after her neupogen. My mind is more at ease when she is not neutropenic. Yesterday, I finally buckled and we decided to go out for a nice outing and dinner. We spent the day going up a tram into the mountains to see the freshly fallen snow. There was an hour wait with a bunch others and we were crammed into a small tram. On one side of the tram there was an open window with wind blowing in and on the other were people breathing on you. I would wrap myself around Jackie as if I had the ability to protect her from all the bacteria circulating in the air. At dinner, we sat next to people smoking and it just irritated me that there is no human decency around anymore. I’m so glad we were able to move seats or we would have probably left.
I am glad Jackie had a good time and I know she definitely needed the air. I know she understands why I often hesitate to take her out and do many of the things we use to do outside. I come to this obsessive ritual of trying to vanquish germs around her. I take vitamin C to make sure I don’t get sick and infect her. This germ phobia has become a part of me.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Day 74
Our oncologist has decided he wants a second opinion from another expert on how to proceed with treatment. He had tried to request an authorization for City of Hope, which is a very well known cancer center sponsored by the National Cancer Institution. Since I am under an HMO, there are many hoops we needed to jump through for such a referral to go through. Yesterday they told us that an approval was given to go to Loma Linda University for a evaluation. Even thought Loma Linda is a very good institution they are not as well known for cancer treatment compared to other hospitals. That was definitely very disappointing. It seemed like such an exciting idea to go to a great facility to receive another opinion. Jackie even called City of Hope for a cash quote. They quoted us 1035 for a consultation and needed a 700 deposit. We ended up calling the doctor and asked him in a very humble type of way “do you think the information from Loma Linda would be valuable to you.” I guess he was able to catch on so he sent another referral saying they want another hospital. I called our insurance company and without any sort of pause, the lady said we do not contract with UCLA or City of Hope. I realized insurance companies do not care about your health. They think only in money. If a patient were to die before treatment then that means more money in their pockets. Anyways, we are currently getting a different referral now to another contracted facility called Cedars Sinai. At least Cedars Sinai is ranked in the top 50 cancer hospitals in the U.S.
I must vent about the insurance a lot. In this world money is god and insurance is your wallet or purse. No matter how much money you have a lack of insurance and the right diagnosis can bankrupt you.
Our oncologist has decided he wants a second opinion from another expert on how to proceed with treatment. He had tried to request an authorization for City of Hope, which is a very well known cancer center sponsored by the National Cancer Institution. Since I am under an HMO, there are many hoops we needed to jump through for such a referral to go through. Yesterday they told us that an approval was given to go to Loma Linda University for a evaluation. Even thought Loma Linda is a very good institution they are not as well known for cancer treatment compared to other hospitals. That was definitely very disappointing. It seemed like such an exciting idea to go to a great facility to receive another opinion. Jackie even called City of Hope for a cash quote. They quoted us 1035 for a consultation and needed a 700 deposit. We ended up calling the doctor and asked him in a very humble type of way “do you think the information from Loma Linda would be valuable to you.” I guess he was able to catch on so he sent another referral saying they want another hospital. I called our insurance company and without any sort of pause, the lady said we do not contract with UCLA or City of Hope. I realized insurance companies do not care about your health. They think only in money. If a patient were to die before treatment then that means more money in their pockets. Anyways, we are currently getting a different referral now to another contracted facility called Cedars Sinai. At least Cedars Sinai is ranked in the top 50 cancer hospitals in the U.S.
I must vent about the insurance a lot. In this world money is god and insurance is your wallet or purse. No matter how much money you have a lack of insurance and the right diagnosis can bankrupt you.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Day 73
Can you get too much neupogen? Jackie’s blood work came back and basically her white blood cells increases 5 times. She is doing very well so they will stop injections until her next chemo session. We are trying to coordinate with the doctor to have her only take a minimal dose of neupogen to achieve of proper blood count. Jackie is still currently slightly under the weather but I know she is getting better and better. Her spirit and mood is always portrayed by the largest smiles and the biggest hugs. I think she is very excited that her counts shot up and she will not have to delay treatment next time.
I am excited for her, because I know it can be very frustrating to wait for what seems to be an uncontrollable effect of chemotherapy. Hopefully the doctors have figured out the proper method to make her treatment as effective and efficient as possible.
Can you get too much neupogen? Jackie’s blood work came back and basically her white blood cells increases 5 times. She is doing very well so they will stop injections until her next chemo session. We are trying to coordinate with the doctor to have her only take a minimal dose of neupogen to achieve of proper blood count. Jackie is still currently slightly under the weather but I know she is getting better and better. Her spirit and mood is always portrayed by the largest smiles and the biggest hugs. I think she is very excited that her counts shot up and she will not have to delay treatment next time.
I am excited for her, because I know it can be very frustrating to wait for what seems to be an uncontrollable effect of chemotherapy. Hopefully the doctors have figured out the proper method to make her treatment as effective and efficient as possible.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)