Day 169-172
Happy one year anniversary Jackie. The first year of marriage is when you are madly in love, honeymoon phase, full of awe for your spouse. You spouse is your life and you don’t want to spend a single minute apart. Going out on lavish vacation to exotic islands, decorating the house together, and maybe even getting a dog. None of that was found in my marriage. Our first year was a trial. It was a test of patience, love, and sanity. Thinking back a year ago it seemed like the perfect scenario. Two newly graduated doctors with full time jobs decide to join paths. Moving in together and saving tons of money to buy a house they can call home. It was great that we had each other 24/7, we enjoyed all the best restaurants and could take mini trips anytime we wanted. In a blink of an eye, the world changed. One small bump on the neck, no insurance, and a series of diagnostic tests which exposes itself as cancer. I still remember that night Jackie told me. We spent an many hours of our fairy tale life trying to help a church member find her lost child. How heroic it seemed, with me totally oblivious to Jackie’s condition. After the child was finally found we drove home. Jackie decided to tell me while driving. I guess she thought I was strong enough to handle the news and I apparently was able to trick myself into thinking the same. However, deep down inside everything collapsed. I was in a wreck the next 2 months. One minute I was completely stressed out thinking I need pyschological help and the other minute I was in denial. Our perfect marriage was totally blown up I thought. Life does show remarkable enlightement. The calmest one was also the victim. She was the one who put a new perspective on me. Life is the present and real. Fairy tales belong in movies.
Six months later, here we are. One year of marriage. We are still madly in love. We are about to conquer this feat of cancer. I have grown in this marriage and self edification ridiculously. I can’t fathom how this experience has changed me. A year of marriage seems like a decade of life lessons. I learned how to be a husband, a caregiver, a friend, a doctor, a coworker, a son, a listener, and most of all a better person.