Day 150-152
The moment of truth is finally here. Scanxiety over the last two weeks has frazzled me. Have the last four months of chemo paid off? This feeling reminds me of waiting for a final exam score. I was able to take time off and accompany Jackie and her mother to the radiation oncologist. The building was exactly how Jackie explained, a waterfall leading to the front desk and everything was clean and well organized. The doctor was nice and friendly. She took her time repeating everything she told Jackie from before. The results were in fact what she predicted. Jackie started off with three masses. The first PET scan showed 2 masses in her supraclavicular and 1 mass in her mediastinal. Her right supraclavicular mass was taken out for biopsy, her left supraclavicular mass was not larger than her right, and the largest mediastinal mass was 5cm with a metabolic activity level (SUV) of 5.9. Her post results showed no evidence of supraclavicular masses and the mediastinal mass shrunk to 3cm with a SUV of 1.9. The oncologist educated us that normal mass is 1cm and any metabolic level under 2.0 was considered desirable. Overall, Jackie has responded very well with even more mass shrinkage to come.
Her treatment will consist of a 36Gy over a period of 18days. According to studies a treatment of ABVD x4 and 20Gy of radiation gives a 5year survival rate of 97.5%. She will begin treatment in one week. All measurements are extremely precise with lasers and scan. She spent forty minutes with a technician and a CT machine being tattooed up for radiation. Being tattooed for radiation consists of three small marks across the body that help the radiation technician line up the machine to make sure the treatment area is always same.
I am utterly amazed at how awesome the facilities were. There was probably a 3:1 ratio of staff to patients at the office. The dressing rooms were clean with new gowns and robes for patients. They have social workers and dietitians for supportive aid. They have a pet therapy program which has a small puppy that runs up to the patients and stares at you. There is definitely lots of support for patients during this emotional time. All equipment was up to date and very futuristic looking. Each radiation machine was probably similar to a airplane turbine engine. The best part of this whole experience is we are all very confident, comfortable, and optimistic of treatment.

Day 149-150
Life is so normal. There has not been any thought of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. There has been no talk of treatment or planning. Jackie and I are spending the weekend attending lectures. She has been eating salads, fruits, sandwiches, steaks, and anything she would like. Jackie has been eating more and more beef recently. Before chemo she did not eat any beef. She has such willpower because she knows that there is protein from eating beef. It is great to see that she is so open to new experiences. These new experiences will only bring more opportunities for us.

Day 142-146
Only one short weekend to celebrate four months of hard work. Chemotherapy has tested us to the maximum as a couple, as christians, as family members, and as humans. There was a total of 2.5 days to celebrate and I decided to make the most of it. Our first stop was to remember how much the Lord has done for us on Good Friday. The time spent in rememberance of how much we our loved by God keeps us going. I wonder if Adam and Eve had never eaten from the tree of good and evil would there be cancer in the world. The next day we went to the happiest place on earth, Disneyland. It was time to go to the happiest place on earth during the happiest time of our lives. We had a great day filled with non-stop laughs, snacks, pictures, and shopping. Our day started from 9am to 9pm. We usually try to make an annual trip to disney that starts from 9am to midnight. Jackie’s body has not entirely regressed back to normal. At about the end of our day she was telling me that she was cold and fatigued. I don’t want to risk Jackie’s health as long as she could have a good time and enjoy her celebration. On Easter Sunday we spent time at church once again. Easter is a time of new beginnings. Every Easter something new has happened to Jackie’s life. Two years ago on Easter, she accepted Christ into her life. Last year around this time, she was baptized. Today she will be almost rid of cancer and enjoy her life to the fullest. We also celebrated her cousin's second birthday. The innocence and charisma of a young child is very envious to watch. A small child does not need to fathom the complexities of life. The stresses of life, finances, jobs, love lost, and of course cancer.

Day 147-148
No food until 4pm! Jackie had to starve until early evening hours. She was not allowed any food because of her PET (Positron Emission Tomography) scan. They scheduled her scan to be at 2:30pm. The PET scan involves a radioactive glucose dye that is injected into your body. You sit in a dark room for an hour in order for the dye to stream through. Cancer cells are usually more metabolic than nomal cells. The area of high glucose uptake on a PET scan helps the physician pinpoint where the cancer cells are located. It has a high advantage over traditional MRI or CAT scans because PET scans can detect highly active cells. Of course, due to the radioactive nature of these scan the risk of secondary problems increase. As a result, the doctor and us only order scans when necessary. We pray that this scan shows no results.

Day 141-142
I was definitely upstaged and impressed by out insurance group. Jackie and I thought we had two weeks of a non Hodgkin’s lymphoma life. At least one week to get the referral in and another week to get approval for the PET scan. Nobody wants to pay 4000 dollars for a test. Well it has been two days and we get a call from our insurace group, then from the imaging center, and finally from the radiation oncologist. Jacqueline’s PET scan is next week and she is getting her images read the end of next week. She will be mapped out and tattooed in preparation for radiation as well next week. We are definitely on a fast pace. So we have a limited time to celebrate the end of chemo. In fact to throw in a celebration we decided to go to disneyland for the weekend. What better to go to the happiest place in the world for the happiest weekend of our lives since Hodgkin’s lymphoma started.

Day 140
Lately my world has been very down. I been very anxious about the end of chemotherapy and the beginning of something potentially worse. Summer is coming around and it gets hotter and hotter in this desert environment. My work is getting busier and busier. To top it all off, I have been sick for almost a week now. Today was the same story with a slight twist. Jackie had her radiation oncology appointment. This appointment was very important and many questions had to be answered. Jackie explained her experience as the best doctor she has ever had. She told me the office starts off with her 25 foot long indoor waterfall. At the end of the waterfall you were checked in and offerred snacks and drinks. The doctor was a very well knowledged woman who was confident in what she did. She explained that low dose radiation was deinitely the most advantageous to cure. She also was very sure that this new PET scan (not CT) was not going to show any signs of disease. She also was pretty certain she would miss most healthy tissue only possibly affecting the thyroid. She was a caring, informative doctor with great beside manners. Having Jackie enthusiastically explain her experience to me really made my day even a slight tear in my eyes. My afternnon work schedule stayed chaotic but nothing could have brought me down. So our plans are nothing for the next 2 weeks, then PET scan, and then radiation. Another upside note was that Jackie would be doing at most four weeks of radiation!

Day 136
I had to take a sick day off today. It was good for me to get some rest and have my body heal itself. I also got to see how chemo effects my wife the third day. She spends most of the morning lounging around due to the spouts of pain, altered taste from medication, and the icky feeling of chemo. Around noon time she eats and heads off to get her Neupogen shot. She comes home and usually lies down before I return around 5pm. I’m so glad this is her last one!Tomorrow she has a preconsultation with her radiation oncologist. It is more of a meet and greet then anything else. Radiation scares me. The biggest dilemna of Hodgkin’s is whether or not to radiate. The nurse oncologist told us that one of the lasrgest side effects is a sore throat. Some people have it so bad that they need a feeding tube in order to receive nourishment. I don’t want to picture my wife under a feeding tube. I hope the radiation oncologist has some happier news and a more positive outcome from treatment. The best news would be no radiation at all. Crossing fingers right now.

Day 137-138
Since the beginning of our diagnosis I have tried so hard to keep our house germ free. We clean constantly, vacuum, and wash intently. Jackie’s temperature is taken after chemo and we make sure that she eats very well. Every sigh and movement is amplified to me. Both Jackie and I have gotten regular flu shots and H1N1 shots. Seven treatments down and no signs of infections or sickness. This last cycle was going the same way until I got sick! I thought it was allergies due to my sniffling nose, constant sneezing, and slightly itchy eyes. It is the beginning of spring time where new flowers are blooming, pollen is in the air, and grass is being reseeded. Well this weekend it has definitely escalated. I am having a runny nose, drowsiness, sneezing, and coughing. I tried so hard not to get sick during Jackie’s treatment, but I failed. I have been trying to avoid Jackie and volunteered to sleep in the other room. I make Jackie sit on the other side of the room. Jackie ends up taking care of me more than I am her.
So today Jackie was suffering from her routine side effects of day 2 chemo. She has a horrible taste in her mouth, stomach aches, and occasional nausea. I usually can help her out, but today I was entirely helpless. I could not taste anything, my temperature seems to fluctuate from hot to cold, and it was sore to move around. We ended up sitting on the couch for ¾ of the day and ¼ of the day in bed. Not the most exciting weekend. I feel that this is such a small ordeal for me and I should man up. Jackie needs me to be her husband, not a baby.