Day ????
Day 196, 197, 198, … Day forever… What is the point of counting? I know I have not posted for awhile. I have really found that the battle has been won but the war is not over.
There is no finale to this even. This isn’t like the world cup where the end is in a month. Hodgkin’s is real and it is a long term event. Even if the disease has been cured there is still risk involved next month, next year, and the future. Jackie and I are extra cautious and have been hypersensitive to any sort of abnormal signs. Her neck is still swollen and that really has been bothering the two of us. We keep palpating and feeling for anything, even though she has no lymph node there anymore. We blame it on the hot desert heat that her neck is swelling, yet we still worry. I worry about hypothyrodism, I worry about Hashimotos disease, I worry about everythig. I have reviewed over and over the symptoms of hypothyroidism. I have not noticed any signs of fatigue, depression, weight gain, puffy face, muscle aches, stiff joints, and so on. It is the middle of summer so I won’t be able to tell if she has increase sensitivity to cold. We have been hitting the gym a lot so maybe that’s counteracting her weight gain. The thoughts are endless. I have no idea what the future holds.
As we progress Jackie is scheduled to take out her mediport this week. I know she is ecstatic about removing this alien device from her body. This is the one telltale sign of Hodgkin’s still left. Her hair is growing back, battle scars are becoming fainter, so it is time to take this port out. After that we wait another month for a scan. Then what do we do? We are still hesitant to move on. Do our lives belong to us or Hodgkin’s?